At a recent wedding, I heard something I had never thought of during the groom’s vows, he said something to the effect of “marriage was the only institution that did not get tainted by the fall”. I thought it was powerful because indeed the fall did not change the relationship between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. In His goodness and grace, God did not hesitate to entrust such a high and unpolluted institution to man despite man’s failings. This is beyond marvelous. Marriage is a gift from God, it is more than having two people with feelings for each other live together, it is an invitation by God to live like Him, to imitate Him, to be like Him, to showcase Him to others, to honour Him. In a marital relationship, the man and the woman are able to represent the relationship and union that exists between the Father, the Son and the Spirit. The same one that Jesus and the church have. Again, this is mind-blowing. What kind of love is this that would allow sinners to enter into a covenant relationship to experience true love? This is the supernatural power of God, as we invite him into our marriages, He takes the lead and shows us how to respect and honour His institution. It is a privilege to be married and an even greater privilege to carry it knowing it is not about you. Well today, as unusual as this topic is for me, I want to encourage you to realign your mindset to the institution of marriage as God had it all along. In order to do that, let’s look at one of my favourite couple in the bible and one that I believe lived well the institution of marriage. It is the story of Manoah and his wife found in the book of Judges.
Judges is an interesting book in the bible because its settings is at a time where “Israel had no kings and everyone did as they saw fit” (Judges 21:25). Israel was so far from God that its enemies were ruling over them and in this particular story, Israel’s enemies are the Philistines. You may wonder why it is important to contextualize this story but as you will see with God, nothing is ever done lightly. Manoah we are told is from the tribe of Dan and he had a wife who was sterile and childless. We are not told how long this couple had been without children but I can speculate it was a long while. One fine day, we read that the angel of the Lord appeared to Manoah’s wife and gave her a message that would change their lives forever. He tells her that she is sterile and has no child but that will change because she will have a son. He further gives her instructions on what she must do when she conceives in terms of dietary restrictions because the boy she will have will be no ordinary boy, “he will be a Nazirite, set apart to God from birth, and he will begin the deliverance of Israel from the hands of the Philistines” (Judges 13:3-5). Now, how is that for a life changing message?! I cannot help but speculate that this was probably a praying woman who trusted God for a child. After the angel speaks to the woman, we are told that she goes and tells her husband the encounter she just had with the angel. First thing you see here is a good communication between the two, you also sense much respect from the woman towards her husband. As soon as the husband hears what his wife just experienced, he prays to God and in his prayer, he expresses the desire to do God’s will together with his wife concerning the child. You see, although the message was given to the wife alone, it did not stop the husband from recognizing that the duty and mission was for both of them. He understood that both parents would undertake the task of raising this boy. The husband does not display any sort of pride for not having received the message directly from the angel first. Nor does he nullify the message the wife received because he was not the primary recipient. He simply humbly prays to God to know what direction to take from there.
God answers Manoah’s prayer and sends the angel back to the wife. This time around, she calls her husband to be present when the angel is speaking. I find it interesting that the angel would always appear to the woman in the first place even though it is an answered prayer for the man. This reminds me that your answered prayers will often come in the form you least expect it, so be humble. Manoah comes and asks the angel what they should be doing when the words of the angel come to pass concerning the boy. I like how Manoah’s attitude is proof that he believed his wife and believed that the words of the angel would come to pass. Do you sense a “oneness” in heart and mind with these two? Next, the angel responds by repeating everything he told the wife before in the presence of her husband. Now that Manoah has had his prayer answered, he wants to honour the angel by offering him some food (goat to be precise) but the angel refuses to eat and tells Manoah to offer a burnt offering to the Lord instead. At this point, Manoah has no idea who he has been talking to and so he asked the angel’s name to which the angel responds “why do you ask my name? It is beyond understanding” or it is “wonderful”. I like how after this, Manoah offers his burnt offering and then we are told that something “amazing” or “wonderful” happened: the angel of the Lord ascended in the flame as it blazed up from the altar toward heaven. Then Manoah and his wife realized they had been talking to the angel of the Lord. This is fascinating that the Lord would want to reveal himself to this couple and accept their offering in such a wonderful way. In fact, the angel of the Lord has not appeared to many people in the bible so when he does, it sure is important and deserves attention. Upon their realization, Manoah goes into a panic mode because he believes God will kill them but his wife filled with wisdom is able to help him understand that the Lord’s intent was not for their harm as he had thought (Judges 13:23). Manoah and his wife obeyed the word of the Lord, they gave birth to a son, the famous Samson who indeed became a Judge to Israel and saved his people from the hands of the Philistines.
What does this story have to do with the institution of marriage? Well, in the lives of Manoah and his wife, we are able to see a good picture of unity and likemindedness. If you aspire to marriage, know that it is beyond yourself or your little goal. It is of God and should be treated as God treats it. If you are married, remember that it is not about you either nor is it about what you want. Moreover, it is not even about what you have or the blessings that come from marriage like having children but it is about walking together in submission to God, being one flesh. Manoah and his wife had that. They were one flesh, of one accord, no one took a decision without the other not knowing. Their allegiance was first to God. They were willing to wait on God for a child, when they were told they had to follow certain instructions when the child would be conceived, they obeyed. They also knew to trust God and to honour Him with sacrifices. They were humble people and no one was elevating themselves above the other. Just like the Father does not hide anything from the Son or the Son does not do anything without the approval of the Father, that is what Manoah and his wife exemplified. My prayer is that we would reappropriate the original view of marriage as God’s institution rather than letting the distorted view of marriage our culture has today shape us. May God help us.
A Word Aptly Spoken 