As human beings, one thing we cannot do without is relationships because we are relational people. This is how we were created and it shows in the way we interact with others. When we are alone, we do not do well, we become depressive, as a matter of fact, the pandemic has shown too many of us that isolation is not for humans. Being something that is so intrinsic to us, you would think we would be great at nurturing relationships or living well with one another but that is unfortunately not the case. There are many types of relationships that we have: husband and wife relationship, father and children relationship, mother and child relationship, siblings’ relationships, supervisor and employee relationship, customer-client relationship, doctor and patient relationship, the list can go on. For every aspect of our lives, we do have a relationship created. Why then are we not better at fostering healthy and wholesome relationships? We know there are great benefits to a good relationship both in terms of health and wellbeing but why do we usually not cultivate healthy relationships? I believe the answer is simple and straightforward and you probably knew it already, it is because we are selfish. As much as we love the company of others, we love ourselves better and what benefits us. The bible gives us ample exhortation about not gratifying the desires of the flesh which includes selfishness but rather those of the spirit which include service and humility. Often times, simply reading about something does not hammer the idea in our brain that is why today, I would like to look at the best relationship example we have in the bible and that is the relationship between the Father and the Son. The book of John is probably the book with the most examples and illustrations about the relationship between God the Father and God the Son. In my reading this week, I saw three aspects of the relationship between the Father and the Son that can be applied to any relationships we enter in, there are oneness through imitation, obedience and submission, and togetherness and sharing.
In John 5, when people start to question Jesus about why he healed a man on the Sabbath, he responds that ‘His Father is always at work and so is He’ (John 5:17) and this launches a series of statements Jesus will make about his relationship with the Father. We start seeing the oneness with the Father manifesting in his imitation of the Father. First, we see that Jesus is not ashamed of his Father and that shows in the way he talks about his Father and imitates him. We see that Jesus healed because his Father healed, Sabbath or no Sabbath. Jesus saves because his Father saves as simple as that. Whatever His Father does, He too does. He has full confidence in His Father’s work and He joins in it wholeheartedly. No one can tell him otherwise. That is very beautiful. There is also a sense of total trust and delight in the work he sees his Father do to be able to imitate that. I find it striking that no one had to force Jesus to imitate his Father, or that Jesus did not have questions about His Father’s work, whether it was the right thing to do or not, He just trusted His Father and saw that the work was good and proceeded to do the same. Granted, you could argue that, like many of us who have started a trade in a profession similar to our parents because we saw it from our parents, that is what Jesus did too but I think it became more to him than just doing what His Father did. He knew the extent of the effect it had on humanity and the pleasure it gave His Father to see him working His work. We are imitators by nature and when we find a good model to replicate, we should not try to make our own but simply follow like Jesus did with His Father.
The second characteristic of the relationship between Jesus and His Father is that it is one of obedience and submission. If I were to rank these attributes, I would probably put obedience and submission as the number one attribute of a good relationship that is displayed in the relationship between the Father and the Son. Like Jesus says often he took his directives from the Father. He would do nothing by himself. Whatever he was doing did not come from him. The Son was not trying to be “spontaneous”, or come up with “new ideas” or the likes, no, he was simply submissive to the ideas and instructions of the Father, whatever they may have been. In chapter 7, Jesus even says “My teaching is not my own. It comes from him who sent me”. He was submissive to the Father even down to his teaching! How many of us in Jesus’ shoes would want to showcase our ingenuity to the Father or to the people the Father had entrusted us with? How many of us would want to suggest new ideas to the Father concerning how to approach this teaching task? Unfortunately we are too quick to offer advice these days and in the process, we often fail to recognize and honour what was done before. I had a discussion in the office this week and out of it, the elderly woman I was talking with said: “learn to respect what was there before you. You may have an idea but before you speak up, make sure you have done your due diligence of finding out what policies are the backbones of why people are doing things the way they are”. I thought that was an excellent advice and so fitting for us in this day and age. And, to see that Jesus was not even about to go change the Father’s methods but simply submit to them is an eye-opener. Obviously, this is not to say that ideas should not be submitted but it is to mean that when you have ideas, suggest them but let the master or the person in authority decide what to do with them. Certain relationships will only require you to submit for that time. Wisdom might be needed for each case but in our example, Jesus and the Father always had a relationship where Jesus submitted and submitted willingly and joyfully. As the book of Hebrews tells us “for the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). It is because there was joy awaiting him on the other side, so there was not even a hint of any action being forceful. I love that about their relationship, there was freedom, total freedom!
The third and final characteristic about the relationship between the Father and the Son is that it is a relationship of togetherness and sharing. The Father is always with the Son and vice-versa. The Father does not withhold anything from the Son, in fact He reveals everything to the Son (John 5:20). So, the Son is always in the know. He is not lost as to what is going on. Moreover, whatever the Father has, He shares with the Son. For example, the Father is life, the Son is life and can give life to others. As a matter of fact, that is what the Son came to give some of us who believe: eternal life. There is a sweet fellowship that the Father and the Son enjoy that is hard to miss. They are one like Jesus told his audience a bit later in the book “I and the Father are one” (John 10:30). I believe it is because of this close knit relationship that Jesus had with the Father that he deplored the unbelief of his contemporaries because how else where they to know the One true God except by getting to know the One who is always with the Father? This was an opportunity of a lifetime and still is by the way because Jesus is the representation of God to us in the flesh. As Colossians says, “For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him (Colossians 1:19)”. For such a relationship to flourish, there must be love, abandonment, submission and obedience which I believe where all in the mix in this case. I thank God that He modeled to us what a good relationship is before telling us to imitate Him. We now know what we can be striving for because He himself has done that perfectly on our behalf.
So then, with the above characteristics in mind, can you think of the many relationships you engage in and see where you fall short? In what ways can you ensure oneness through imitation, submission, obedience, love, honour and transparency mark the relationships you have? How about taking one relationship at a time and seeking to change your attitude towards the other party by becoming more like Jesus? I know it is not easy, and easy is not what we are called to do but would you first surrender to God, asking Him for His help and then proceed to act in a manner commendable in any and every relationship you are in? I cannot tell you what relationships in your life you need to begin with, you certainly will know and if in doubt, bring it to the Lord in prayer and He will show you. I pray that you learn to live by the Spirit and so please your Maker as Jesus did.
A Word Aptly Spoken 